HAPPY NEW YEAR! I might be a few days late but I mean it just the same. So how many of you made the resolution to travel more, eat healthy, and run that ½ marathon we talk about every year, or spend more time with friends? I decided on New Years I would make no resolutions this year because I just find myself not doing them and then trying to do them the following year. I have been saying I am not drinking Diet Coke for the past 10 years! This got me thinking though maybe I should do something but not something that benefits me something that benefits others.

The word Passion has been weighing heavy on my heart, since I first stepped foot back onto American soil. People are always talking about passion, but do you realize passion in you is what brings change.

Passion: Strong and barely controllable emotion, a state or outburst of such emotion, an intense desire or enthusiasm for something

What if we decided this year, 2012, to really dive into what we are passionate about with the mind set of how will this bring change and affect those around me. What if we decided this year to not just talk about what we are passionate about, but we actually take action to walk out our passions. What if instead of listening to other peoples passions and just encouraging them, we join then.

What are you passionate about?

Some of you might be thinking­...well I am not sure what I am passionate about...

As Christ followers we are asked to seek first the kingdom of God, he also says go out and loose your- self-take the plunge...go out and do it.

Some of you still may be asking yourself well what am I passionate about.

We are called to not just have a relationship with the Lord, but to have a deep PASSIONATE relationship with the Lord. This passion we have for the Lord should compel us to go out, and speak it out.

Start from there...start growing deeper in your passion from the Lord and he will speak to you and grow you in your passions.

I have been listening to "Find My Own Flame" by Will Reagan this is what it says...

I don't want to ride on somebody else's passion

I don't want to find that I'm just dry bones

I want to burn with unquenchable fire

Deep down inside see it coming alive

Help me find my own flame

Help me find my own fire

I want the real thing

I want YOUR burning desire

What if we did this? What if we found his burning desire and acted on them. What if we decided to let our passion for the Lord come ALIVE?

Imagine what 2012 could look like if we decided to make the choice to make a resolution that is outward focused and not self- focused. What if we all carried out and acted out our passions...

My resolution is to find that passion...to burn with that passion...for that passion to come alive. To start a flame that spreads farther and farther.

How can your passions affect those around you? Are you going to let that passion run wild?

Happy Mothers day. Happy Mothers day. Happy Mothers day.   I know I know I am more than a few months early, but if there is one thing on this trip I have come to appreciate the most it is mothers, hands down. Okay you may be thinking what the heck is she talking about. Well to do that I think it is best if I give you a recap of my life over the last few months.

- I get asked medical questions every day; even though I am not a nurse, and the best part is people actually listen to my advice

- I get asked on bus trips "are we almost there yet?"

- I get asked where is the peanut butter or cereal most every day, even though it is right next to them J

- I am making sure 12 girls get fed each day

-I am making sure 12 girls are able to sleep at night

- I take girls to the doctors/hospital/pharmacy

- I buy the girls "sick day food" crackers and Sprite

- I pack bags for trips to the doctors

- I make sure on off days 12 girls are given their allowance

-I pack lunches for travel days, peanut butter sandwiches of course

- I go to sleep thinking how are the girls doing, I wake up thinking how are the girls doing

- I give the pep talk to make sure we are all getting enough sleep and taking care of ourselves

- I have hard conversations with them

- I have amazing conversations with them

- I pray daily for them

- I love them

The list could go on, but I just really today began realizing just how much mothers do (Father too but I am a girl so I am speaking for mothers on this one J ) I just really appreciate my mother, and how she answers all of my questions. Just today I called her in the middle of the night to ask her a medical question actually. I appreciate that even though she knows I know where things are, I am just to lazy to look, she still stops what she is doing and helps me find what I am looking for. I appreciate that she always packed a lunch for me, always made dinner, always made sure I got to where I needed to go. I appreciate most how much she prayed and still prays for me each and every day. I appreciate how she just loves me unconditionally. This trip has changed my perspective and given me a whole new perspective. I feel blessed beyond measure that God has allowed me to be a "mom" to 12 girls for the past 3 months. I have loved every minute of it, tiring at times, but worth it completely. I could not ask for better children then the 12 women that God has placed in my life.

 

Last night during worship we sang the song " This Little Light of Mine". I know we all know that song from when we were younger and we know all the hand motions and verses. I remember going to Sunday school and singing it each Sunday. Last night though in a dark room with only candles lit and a group of American's and Cambodians singing this song, with pure joy on our faces-it hit me. Yes, this song might seem so childish, mainly because we just connect it with our childhood, but there is such significance in this song.

                                                            This little light of mine

                                              I'm going to let it shine

                                             This little light of mine

                                             I'm going to let it shine

                                             Let it shine let it shine

                                                     Let it shine

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. Let it shine let it shine let it shine. While singing those small verses God just began speaking to me. The light of Christ living in us has to shine; we can't not let it shine. We need to let it shine so that the world can see God's love and know and experience God's love. We need to make sure to let our light shine so that the His kingdom can be advanced here on earth. If I don't let my light shine...

The Girls at the center who have been neglected and abused will not know Christ Love...

The young boys at the center will not know that they are men of God who are going to lead their generation...

If I don't let my light shine...

The mother at the abandoned train station who has HIV and 5 children and her husband just passed away will not know of Hope...

The boy who is living on the streets who goes some days with out food will not ever know that his has a Father who loves him...

If I don't let my light shine...

The young girl who struggles with who she is  will not know that she is beautiful and loved...

The oppressed will not have someone be a voice for them...

If I don't let my light shine...

How can I bring the kingdom here on earth? How can I show the love of my creator? How can I move a generation to move and shake the nations? This is why we simply but urgently need to not let our light be stifled. So as small and simple as it might sound-it is vastly important.

So I am going to let my light shine...I am not going to try to hide that light that is in me...I am not going to let Satan blow it out and tell me lies. THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE...I'M GOING TO LET IT SHINE!

Here I am laying on a church stage that is covered in ants, one hand on Hailey's knee and my other hand in Erin's hand for support. Seang, our translator, has a Swiss army knife in one hand and a needle in the other. I can't decide whether I want to laugh or cry. Seang begins to cut my skin open, right there on the stage, and use the needle to get rocks and gravel out of my hand.

The question that is going through my mind is-Am I really about to let my translator conduct surgery on my hand right here on this church stage?

EARLY THAT DAY...

Elle and I woke up at 6 a.m. to go for our usual morning run. We were running along on the side of the road, that was a mix of loose gravel and pavement. Next thing I know, and I am still not sure how it happened, but I am arms out in front of me skidding across the pavement. I got up quickly, or I would be hit by a bicycle, motorcycle, or car. Elle wasn't sure what happened, because it all happened so quickly, she asked if I needed to stop and walk. For some reason I said no, all of a sudden I looked down and my knee was bleeding, then I realized my hands felt like they where on fire. I look at my hands and well they where not looking so great. Luckily we were close to where we are living. I knew my hands and knee needed to be cleaned out, but the idea of it made my entire body cringe. I tried cleaning the cuts out with water, and cleaning wipes that came in our miniature first aid kit-thank you AIM. Well, that was just not doing the trick; there was dirt and gravel still in the cuts. Elle and I managed to rig up a bandage of some sort-I use the word bandage loosely.

I arrived at ministry and our translator was not impressed by how dirty the cuts where and well maybe by the bandage we had try to come up with. Any ways, he insisted on taking me to the pharmacy to get something to clean the cuts out-to say I was hesitant by this is an understatement. We arrived at the pharmacy and the lady behind the counter tried to clean it with rubbing alcohol that she happened to have right next to her, um no thanks. She then insisted we buy, well I was not sure what we were buying exactly, but I trusted my translator, who has no medical experience.

 

 

 

 We arrived back at the church and he used some of Hailey's anti bacterial hand sanitizer to clean off the Swiss army knife that was in his pocket and a needle. Somewhere you would think that I would be hesitant to let someone with no medical experience cut into my hand and remove dirt/gravel/rocks from my hand, but some home I became very trusting-maybe it was the rest of my team insisting that it was a good idea. Before I know it he is cutting the already cut open wounds. Okay I can handle this maybe, THEN he proceeded after removing things from each cut on my hand to pour IODEEN on the wound and rub it with CAMBODIAN gauze. For those who would like to know what Cambodia gauze is, imagine rough fabric, being rubbed on an open cut. This is when tears began rolling down my face, while my entire, well almost entire team, stood around me. Talk about humbling experience. After one hand he moved to the next and then proceeded to my knee. The process took almost 45 minutes. I would place it in the top 5 most painful experiences of my life so far, hands down. I have told all of you this to tell you the story of...

 

"Tell your generation, tell the generation to come, raise up this generation, raise up the generation to come, speak life over your generation, speak life over the generation to come--I command you to do this Kendall because in this I am telling you there is a generation that is rising there is an ARMY RISING UP": GOD

Seeds have been being planted here in Cambodia-here in Battambang. A harvest is being cultivated. I know this, I believe this, and I have faith in this. As I was praying about this I felt the Lord telling me, you guys will be the ones that plant the seeds but I am rising up a generation that will be the ones to harvest, they will be the one's to see the fruit. Trust me Kendall-just do what I have commanded you to do.  I have commanded you to pass your faith to the next generation so that the gospel will continue to be advanced to all nations. This is my command-be obedient be patient.

Hannah, on my team, and I were praying one night during 24 hour prayer; we were praying for the authority in Battambang to know their creator. To lead their city with love and with an authority that has God placed at the center. While we were praying I heard the Lord speak to me. This is what he said...

Kendall pray specifically for Pierre Rom and Setan, two thirteen-year-old boys who due to tragic circumstances now live at the center. Pray for them to know me deeply and intimately. Pray for them to allow their roots to grow deep in me, I will be their foundation. Pray that they rise up in boldness and confidence into the men that I have created them to be. Pray this because they are going to be the generation that changes Battambang. They are going to be part of the generation and movement to bring justice to the oppressed to the orphaned to the poor. They are going to help lead the army, the generation that is going to be part of a huge movement in Battambang that will bring change. Plant the seeds, share your faith, invest in them, and pour life into them. Do this in obedience so that they can bare fruit here in Cambodia.

After hearing the Lords gentle, yet firm words; it got me really thinking this past week. I need to pray this not only over Pierre Rom and Setan; I need to be praying this over my entire generation and the generation to come...

Life needs to be spoken over this generation and the generation to come. We are going to be an ARMY that rises up. We are NOT too young, we are NOT incapable, we are NOT lazy, and we ARE worthy. We WILL speak up for the oppressed and the orphan and the widow. We WILL bring justice. We have a voice.

 I need to be obedient in planting the seeds, obedient in speaking what the Lord tells me. I need to do this, he commands me to do this because the seeds that I plant are going to bare fruit. Big things are going to happen, CHANGE is going to happen. A great movement of the Spirit is going to take place.

"...We will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders." Psalms 78:4

I challenge you guys as my readers to pray for Pierre Rom and Setan that they will grow and rise up and continue the harvest that is being planted. I ask you to pray for my generation; maybe my generation is your generation, and the generation to come. I ask you to speak life over them, to pour into them, to tell them the glorious deeds of the Lord.

I ask you this because I am telling you.... AN ARMY IS RISING UP AN ARMY IS RISING UP. WE ARE RISING UP WE ARE RISING UP.

Open up your eyes quit believing all those lies that the devil has been telling you...

A few days ago Elle brought to the team that there are lies that we continue to live under. Lies the devil still tries to tell us in order to keep us from truly living in freedom. We all voiced the lies that the devil has been trying to tell us are truth about ourselves, in saying them out loud it takes any power that the devil might have away from him. We then began to spend time in the Lords presence asking him what are truths that he says about us-what are truths about his character and who he is and always will be.

He states, " I am the Lord and I do not change" Malachi 3:6. While listening to truths the Lord just kept leading me to scripture that states truth about what he thinks about me, and who He is.

So for those reading this, that have believed lies about yourself or lies about who God is, I am going to need you to do something for me. Stand up, preferably on a chair if one is near, and I want you to declare these truths over yourself.

- He will guide me along the best pathway for my life

- He advises me and watches over me (Ps 32:8)

- He will never abandon me (Ps 37:28)

- He delights in every detail of my life (Ps 37:23)

-He sets my feet on solid ground and steadies me as I walk along (Ps 40:2)

- He delights in my beauty (Ps 45:11)

- He has removed my sin as far from me as the east is from the west (Ps 103:12)

- HE IS GOOD

- Oh, (Insert your name), hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is unfailing love, his redemption overflows. He himself will redeem (Insert your name) from every kind of sin (Ps 130:7-8)

- He made me so wonderfully complex (Ps 139:13-14)

- He has made me strong like a fortified city that can't be captured (Jeremiah 1:18)

- He has appointed me as a prophet for the nations (Jeremiah 1:5)

- He has plans to give me a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11)

- He crowns me with glory and honor (Ps 8:5)

- He keeps me safe (Ps 4:8)

- He is my fortress, rock, and protector (Ps 32:1)

-He gives me strength (Ps 29:11)

- He has and will lift me out of the pit of despair (Ps 40:2)

- He is always ready to help me in times of trouble (Ps 46:1)

- He has anointed me (Ps 45:7)

- He supplies all of my needs from his glorious riches (Phil 4:19)

- He purchased my freedom (Colossians 1:13)

- I AM HIS BELOVED

" All scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true..." 2 Timothy 3:16

My Life...

We have a 4 a.m. wake up call from the Buddhist monks who are living in the temple right next to where we are staying. We normally here 3 taps on a microphone then a "Hello Hello" which then leads to hours of chanting, drum beating, singing, or Cambodian music.

 

 

After morning devotionals is music lesson time. Emily on our team is an amazing piano and guitar player with an amazing singing voice. She is teaching the girls and children at the center to play the piano and guitar. We only have one keyboard so she has been creative and made paper piano's to practice on and then they have private lessons to learn on the actual piano. They love it!

Next are English classes, this is open to the girls at the center and people around the city. We walked around the city handing out flyers to any one and everyone we saw inviting them to learn English, of course the flyer said "Free lessons with a real foreigner" J. We have two classes in the morning a beginners and an intermediate. We have one hour of actual lessons and then a half hour of incorporating a devotional about the Lord that also allows them to practice their English. We then have two more classes in the afternoon as well.

 

 

Elle with some of the girls at the Center

 

On Thursday and Friday afternoons they take us into town and we collect children that are living on the streets and bring them back to the center to bath them, feed them, clothe them, and spend time with them. We have not started this part of ministry yet but the other day a group of girls got to go meet some of the kids and their hearts where just broken. You will walk down the streets and people have made make shift homes right on the side walk, or you will be approached by children-some only infants-begging you for money. The reality is real here it is not hidden in corners it is right in front of your face. I have just fallen in love with these people and the city of Battombong in every way possible. God has been doing huge things in this city already and we have only been here for 2 weeks, I just cannot see what else the Lord has in store for us.

I have been in Cambodia now for a little over a week and I have been blown away by so many things since arriving in Battambong, Cambodia. I have been blown away by how God has redeemed the country of Cambodia for me, my team of 12 fearfully and wonderfully made women, the Lords provision, and the ministry at Transform Asia.

I was sitting here though thinking what should I blog about there are so many things that the Lord has done and revealed to me since leaving home. Where do I even begin?  I felt the Lord telling me to write about how He has blown me away most with the Power of Prayer. So here it goes...

Prayer:  A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God

Power: the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others

I have always been told that prayer is essential in hearing from the Lord and with my walk with the Lord and I have believed that with all my heart...or so I thought. 

Two verses that have revolutionized me in just the past 2 weeks are:

" Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do know about things to come." Jeremiah 33:3

"As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength." Psalms 138:3

Man guys, he simply says ASK and I will tell you remarkable secrets. Why would I not want to know these remarkable secrets that he is dying to tell me? And then he simply says pray and he will answer us! It has finally clicked in me that there is such power in prayer but we have to be doing it. WE HAVE TO BE DOING IT.  Our prayers have the POWER to influence things and change things and start movements we just have to do it. God has been using prayer to show me and speak to me words for the girls I am leading and giving me pictures for the girls and for the country of Cambodia. I am in awe of the power of prayer each and every day. I really feel like God was wanting me to write this for you reading this right now to understand the magnitude of prayer that we have power in our words and authority in our prayers because he is LIVING in us and MOVING in us.  He wants us to ask in his name!

" You have not done this before. Ask using my name and you will receive and you will have abundant joy." John 16 24

It is so simple but for some reason I know for myself I run from prayer or I find myself not realizing the affect and the change that prayer can have if we ask in His name and the joy he wants to offer us through it.

God has been transforming prayer for me and showing me to not only prayer but pray with expectancy that he will answer. I am weak but through prayer he strengthens me. I urge you as you read this to really begin to meditate on the power of prayer. I promise you it will knock your socks off, redeem you and restore you, excite you, make change happen.

"...We will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders." Psalms 78:4

I have been back in the United States after traveling the world with the World Race for almost 7 months. I can't believe it. The time has just flown by. Since being back, I have spent a lot of time asking the Lord: What are your desires for me? Where do you want to direct my paths? What is your will for my life? In this season of asking God those questions he has more than just blown me away.

 

Our pastor has been doing a sermon series called "Next". I was going through all of my notes over the past few weeks while praying about what God desires for me. And it became clear what he has called me to do: Here are 3 things that are on the tops of each of my notes:

- We are called; not suggested, to pass our faith from generation to generation

-We want the next generation to thrive in the world with the gospel, to know love and believe the Bible

-We are called to pour into the next generation...in order to advance the gospel in all nations

Okay God I am starting to get it...

"Real Life" is part of Adventures in missions, the same organization associated with the World Race. It is for college students 18-21. It allows them to do mission work for 4 months in one location. I was prayerfully considering leading students on this trip when suddenly, worldly desires came flooding in...such as; I am 26 years old and suppose to have a "real job"; can I raise support again? ; can I really leave my job?; am I really capable of leading students? God quickly silenced those questions and uncertainties. He didn't just crack the door open for me to walk into-He flung the doors open!

With that said...I applied to lead a group of college students in the fall (August 30-December 15) and I was accepted! I do not know what our location is yet. The possible countries are: Kenya, Uganda, Swaziland, Cambodia, Thailand, India, or Guatemala. I am not even concerned with what country God has planned for me. My focus is on the students that are participating on the trip. Those students are what my heart passionately desires; to pour into their generation.

Here is where I need your help:

- I need to raise $ 1,500 to cover travel, food, and lodging. You can help by just clicking "support me!" on the left hand side of this page

- Most importantly; I need people to surround me in prayer over ever step of this process I am about to embark on; pray for Gods continued guidance and for the lies from the enemy to be silenced.

I would love if you, as my faithful supporters over the last year and a half would consider joining me once again in this next step adventure that I feel God has for my life. I know God has huge things to come and I am just excited that he has chosen me to do this.

If you have any more questions or would just like to talk to me about this you are more than welcome to e mail me at : hawley513@gmail.com